Slips, Slides, and the Myth of Starting Over

Recovery is hard. Making changes is hard. Slips are part of recovery. But how do we keep a slip from becoming a slide?

We put so much pressure on ourselves, sometimes reinforced by external expectations, to be perfect in recovery. Whether it is alcohol, substances, self-injury, disordered eating, or other coping behaviors, there is this unspoken demand to recover in a way that is not actually accessible for most of us. Maybe not for any of us. The idea that we step into recovery and immediately stop all behaviors is not realistic. Slips happen. So how do we meet a slip without letting it turn into a slide?

Slips are part of the change process. The push and pull of being human, of moving through recovery and change, is messy and complicated. When slips happen, we are often so hard on ourselves, getting pulled into shame and guilt. That shame can build, can layer, can start to feel like something is wrong with us or like we’ve lost ground, and that is what can tip things into a slide. But what if, when the slip happens, we meet it with more gentleness? What if we see it as part of the process, not proof of our undoing? What if a slip is information instead of a verdict? What if honoring the slip helps interrupt the patterns we’ve been taught to believe are inevitable?

I used to count time. I thought it was helpful. But every time I slipped, I was told my time was erased. By who, though? A program? A rule? A belief someone else taught me to internalize? My hard work was still real. I had a slip, not a reset. Learning that no slip and no slide can erase my effort, no matter what any program or person says, is something my body knows now.

Slips happen. A slip is just that, a slip. No runner who trips in a race is sent back to the starting line to begin again. They get up, adjust, and keep going. So why would I turn on myself and turn a slip into a slide through shame?

Honoring the reality of slips, naming them, and moving forward into the next day still in the process of recovery, still holding onto what has been built, still choosing the path I want, has been deeply supportive for me. There is so much judgment, internal and external, around slips and slides. That judgment can feed loops, and those loops can become heavy and hard to move through. I am here to offer a different framing. Seeing slips as part of the process, and continuing forward, can soften what might otherwise become a slide. And if there is a slide, it does not have to become something that feels like everything is lost. There is still a next step.