A Harm Reduction Approach to Holiday Gatherings

Centering disabled, chronically ill, grieving, and mad folks during a complicated season.

The holiday season often brings a mix of gathering, food, celebration, and expectation. For many living with chronic pain, chronic illness, disability, grief, or recovery from substance use or eating disorders, this time of year can feel especially tender. The focus on food and alcohol, the pressure to participate, and conversations that land in harmful places can stir up overwhelm or disconnect.

You are allowed to move through the holidays at the pace of your bodymind. This guide offers disability affirming, harm reduction oriented support for choosing what feels possible and protective for you this season.

Honor Your Boundaries

Boundaries are care. Saying no is allowed. Choosing what feels supportive to your bodymind is allowed. You do not have to perform wellness, joy, or tradition for anyone.

Choose What You Have Capacity For

Capacity changes from day to day. If you decide to attend something, you can plan around your needs with transportation, arrival time, seating, or how long you want to stay. Building in flexibility can soften pressure.

Make Space to Unwind

After social time, it helps to pause. Maybe you rest, write, listen to something grounding, stretch, or simply sit in quiet. Making space to decompress is part of tending to your needs.

Stay Connected to Your People

Reach out to those who understand your rhythms. A message to a trusted friend, a peer support space, or a familiar voice can offer steadiness when things feel heavy or activating.

Bring What Helps You Feel Nourished

If food feels complex, bring something safe, comforting, or familiar. This is not a failure. It is honoring your needs and your relationship with food.

Interrupt or Exit Diet Talk

Diet talk and body commentary can be harmful. You can redirect the conversation, change the topic, step away, or name that it is not supportive for you. You get to protect your peace.

Communicate What You Need

If you need alcohol free space, less noise, breaks, sensory supports, or disability accommodations, you are allowed to name that. People who care about you want to support you, and honest communication helps them do so.

Spend Energy Intentionally

Resting beforehand or intentionally saving your spoons can help you move through social time with more balance. Your energy is precious. Spend it where it feels meaningful or manageable.

Support Your Senses

Holidays can be loud, bright, and overstimulating. Consider earplugs, sunglasses, fidgets, comfortable layers, or planned sensory breaks. Sensory care is harm reduction too.

Honor Grief When It Arises

If this season brings grief, you do not have to push it away. Make room for moments of tenderness, memory, or ritual. Grief belongs, even during holidays.

Keep Things Simple If You Host

If hosting feels grounding or offers more control, let it be small, gentle, and easeful. Create a space that reflects your values rather than expectations. It can be potluck style, short, quiet, or even just getting take out.

Opt Out Without Apology

You are never required to attend gatherings that feel draining, unsafe, or unsupportive. Choosing rest or solitude is a valid and caring option. You do not owe anyone an explanation.

Move at the Pace of Your Bodymind

Listen for what your body, emotions, and energy are telling you. You do not have to override discomfort or push through pain. Your well-being comes first, always.

Seek Out Supportive Community Spaces

Many support groups, peer-led circles, disability and chronic illness communities, and harm reduction spaces offer expanded options during the holidays. These gatherings provide grounding, validation, and connection when things feel complicated.

The holidays can hold moments of meaning, joy, tenderness, and complexity. You do not need to meet them with perfection or performance. You are allowed to choose what supports you, release what does not, and move through this season with gentleness toward your bodymind.