What has been keeping me going lately is meeting people who are just as tired as I am, tired of groupthink, tired of pretending things aren’t broken, and still willing to dream of what’s possible. I’ve been reflecting on the spaces I’ve left behind, spaces that drained me, didn’t value my voice, and added to my exhaustion.
I’m walking away from workplaces where co-workers quietly thank me after meetings for saying what they feel but won’t voice aloud. At the same time, I am tone-policed and told, “You’re the only one saying this,” even when my Slack is full of messages proving otherwise. These experiences are a microcosm of something bigger, a system of power and practices that not only silence people with lived and living experience but actively harm us.
The Weight of Toxic Workplaces
Toxic workplaces are heavy in ways many of us know too well. For those of us navigating life with lived and living experience, whether as survivors of trauma, people with disabilities, or those carrying the weight of systemic oppression, these environments can be suffocating. They demand everything while giving little in return.
Tone policing, gaslighting, and performative inclusion are just a few of the ways harm shows up. We’re invited to the table but told to soften our voices or watch our tone when we speak. We’re praised in private for saying what others are too afraid to say but left feeling isolated in public. It’s exhausting to exist in spaces where being honest feels like an act of rebellion and advocating for basic decency feels like a battle.
The Harm of Current Power Structures
Traditional workplace power structures, rigid hierarchies, unchecked authority, and a lack of trauma-informed practices exacerbate the harm. Decisions are often made by those far removed from the realities of the work, especially when leadership lacks lived experience.
For those of us who see the cracks in these systems, who carry the insights that come from surviving and navigating the world differently, these structures can feel suffocating. Our perspectives are often dismissed or tokenized rather than truly valued. The systems that harm us are protected, while we’re left questioning our worth and contributions.
These power dynamics don’t just harm individuals; they harm teams, organizations, and the potential for meaningful change.
The Impact on Individuals with Lived Experience
Working in these environments can be retraumatizing. The emotional toll of constantly advocating for yourself, of being dismissed or diminished, is profound. It erodes your confidence and can leave you questioning your ability to belong anywhere.
For people with lived and living experience, the workplace can feel like yet another space where we must fight to be heard, to be seen, to be valued. It’s draining, and that exhaustion follows us home, creeping into the spaces where we should be resting or dreaming.
The Decision to Leave
It takes courage to leave a workplace that no longer serves you. For many of us, these workplaces are tied to our passions or fields where we feel we can make a difference. Walking away isn’t easy, but staying often comes at a greater cost.
Leaving is a declaration of your worth. It’s a way of saying, “I deserve better.” For me, leaving these spaces is also an act of hope, hope that better spaces exist or can be created. I am seeking out places where my voice is not only heard but valued, where my energy isn’t drained but nurtured, where dreaming of better isn’t just possible but encouraged.
Dreaming of Better Workplaces
Better workplaces are possible. They start with valuing lived experience, not as a checkbox but as a vital perspective in decision-making and leadership. They prioritize trauma-informed policies, harm reduction, and equity at every level. They create space for collaboration rather than competition, for dreaming rather than just surviving.
Imagine a workplace where you don’t have to fight to be heard, where your voice matters, and where you can show up as your full self. Imagine a space where leadership listens and responds, where systems evolve to meet the needs of the people within them. These are the workplaces I am dreaming of, and these are the spaces I am seeking.
Moving Forward
Leaving toxic workplaces is not just about self-preservation; it’s about choosing alignment. It’s about saying no to harm and yes to spaces that value humanity, collaboration, and care.
I am walking forward with intention, toward spaces that energize me and where dreaming of better is welcomed. I hope that sharing this encourages others to recognize when a workplace is harming them and to believe they, too, deserve better. Because we do. We all do.
Let’s keep dreaming of what’s possible.